Single

Aside from not having body heat in my bed, what am I missing? I honestly get affection, I get sex, and I have someone to bitch too when I feel crumy...I am so confused about what a relationship is, sorry I meant being in one. I've met 5 people to date who are okay with their partners messing with other people as long as there is a justification...---> O_o *my face*....am I old school? Last time i checked the only time it was okay to cheat was if you were okay with the consequence of me leaving you. I've assisted cheating men in my past because I was put under the illusion that they were single but no...they were just cheating, openly cheating; they were more comfortable with telling their girl we were fucking than telling me that they were taken. Who makes the rules anyways though? Maybe I'm wrong and they're right. Maybe there is no wrong or right, all I know is that I'm three years into my lonesome lovely relationship and I feel happy single.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Some days are easier than others....but the rough days seem to drag me by my foot n scrape my forehead...literally. I get so high on life that when I crash I crash hard. WTF it was just yesterday I was sitting on top of the world, how the fuck did I get back here? I've been used....constantly used, been to stupid to realize it. I've seen it happen to others and I've said I can't relate, while preaching this, its happening to me in another way. No more drinking for me to ease my thoughts, I'm just going to sit through it. I'm going to sit beside myself and evaluate, a little conversation. I can't keep relapsing when it comes to people because I find my frustration level rises, I black listed them for a reason. Too many chances! We are all hypocrites whether we believe it or not, but that doesn't mean that its okay. We can't just sit here satisfied with that. I need a purge. When you throw everything out without even looking, just throwing and throwing.......I'm going to take a deep breath and throw

THE GREAT CONVERSATION

*Dah dah dah* SEX!!! It never fails that sex is the conversation that boys and girls can't wait to get to, it's like no one has regards to time or location when it comes to that! Dinner table, car, stroll in the park for crying out loud, let's just get that soft mushy stuff out the way and get to sex. I love hearing the feedback from both parties, I love the fact that some people don't understand we all want different things, and of course NO ONE in these conversations are bad at sex. No one has a small dick, no one sucks dick, no one cuddles, and no one goes less than 25mins...nope never fails. I love the part where guys talk about hitting the G spot and how many girls they've made squirt and how my dudes aren't doing me right. I'm not going to lie that's how conversation gets exciting yet awkward, because after talking about sex where does conversation go after "So how about them blue jays?".... It pretty much has to enter an awkward stage until something half as interesting can be thought of...Sex makes for a great conversation

Its me again

Is it really time to start dating? I'm bad at these things; I actually excel in getting rid of guys. I don't understand why I don't want anyone, I think it's the fear of losing the ones I already have. I can't tell one guy to stop calling me after we've been running so well, I can't tell another guy he can't check me even when intentions are good....Relationships come with risks that I'm not ready for. The potential I see and some doesn't seem to get far; I mean the dudes I really vibe with I don't want what we have to be ruined by a relationship. I don't even feel like its trust issues, I want to call it dedication issues. I don't even like talking about this shit its gets sticky and confusing. I don't know why or how I lead people on. Hopefully shit works itself out, I wouldn't mind another sexy single birthday, but how long can I run?

1....2...3

Have you ever made a decision with NO second guessing involved; I think they call it gut instinct....well that is what's carrying me right now. I haven't been down, I've been fucked over heavy this week, but definitely not down. I'm trying everything to avoid the point of stress/downage because its definitely not good for the soul. On another note I went to a party and the host through something out there that actually was intellectual as drunk as he was; he sed "some of you are here because your relationship has turned into more of a routine". That statement really made me think, like is that when your relationship because the brother and sister relationship lol....damn that sucks....n e ways this was just a pop in... I wrote a good piece the other day bu I was so drunk I prolly didn't post it

Sigh

This weekend should be called MEN because that's what it was full of. Am I complaining? Hell no; it was a beautiful thing. I like to flirt a bit, but don't we all. I've had two on my mind for some reason or another...maybe cuz i haven't had dick in so long that's all i can think about.....*sigh* pitiful. I'm not the greatest listener but if you show me something real I have no other option but to listen. I seem to have an intimidating persona when it comes to these guys, they come on strong but then don't follow through....u know what I say to that NEXT...show me what separates u from the rest, its not enough to stand on the sidelines n expect action...on another note I haven't fulfilled any of my sexcapades *sad face* signing off

Oldy but Goody

So I bumped into an old friend of mine...he was a little more than that. Its nice to see that he was doing so well, he looked graceful and he's well stacked (no gold digger). His charm didn't fade he still has that stupid attitude but the courtesy and all a that was still there. Conversation was flowing like we were walking down the block just yesterday; he didn't forget a thing and neither did I. We had a lot of unfinished business...not sure if we're going to finish it. I'm screaming that I'm not ready to take it to any level with anyone, but that's just inside. I trust him and he's different from what I've been dealing with. For instance the guy I met in Feb reminds me of my lover...I have a love hate relationship with that dude so I'm not really trying to go that route, this dude was always different. He walks with his confidence on his forehead and we have intellectual conversations, and....fuck it I'm just jonesin'. I've been single for three years and haven't fucked in a while this type of shit gets me excited bare with me lol...Nothing like an oldy but goody..