Call me conceited...

I'm going to allow you to acknowledge how cocky I am. Realistically speaking I can make anyone fall in love with me, I think its the spell of the Scorpio. Its just something I'm good at. I'm so good at reading people that I know how to get inside their head, I don't even do it on purpose anymore it just happens. "They just want to sleep with you" yadda yadda yadda WE OFF THAT! Waste dudes get weeded out early. My alias alone demands respect "Miss Mullings" don't wear it out. When you're single you need: a man to talk to late nights, a man to take you out, a man to crush on, and a man to fuck; you're only job is to make sure all 4 of those are with different men once they start compelling, you got a problem or potentially a man. I enjoy all 3 of mine I love this game and I play it well; still on the hunt for a missing link, but I got a few options I'm not even sweating it.

"Hey you! Its me again!"...that's just how I imagined being able to talk to you but it comes out different. It comes out silent. We are so different but understand each other so well. I want to feel more comfortable with you aside from the intimate level because we definitely got that. I don't want love from you I just want you to acknowledge that thing we both aren't trying to put our finger on. We've ignored it so long it just keeps growing. I remember everything lol trust me, it really seems like yesterday. If we ever become anything less I just want to thank you in advance; no one (including yourself) knows what you saved me from. I personally think its crazy we still talk but you don't judge me nor do you get frustrated with me, you simply listen to my intoxicated ass and mock me because you know exactly how to make me laugh. You'll never know I wrote this because you're not from the same side of the earth as me, you live under this rock lol, but by now you should know all this without me saying it. 

I reminisce

So check it...remember when we were younger and we use to live simple lives; not a care in the world. Life seemed black and white, school and then play. I always thought that when I was 18 I'd live on my own and have a whip and be a big woman. I didn't think I'd have these many burdens and be this confused about my life's path. In this stage I just feel like everyone's tryin to impress everyone, no one really themselves, appearance defines us. When we were younger we had this wild imagination, we didn't really care about what a person possessed but more so who they were and what they meant to us; people impacted us. I know I can never get those times back but the thought makes me chuckle when I'm alone with half a glass of rum.

Made Me Chuckle

So today I wore my hair in an afro and wore a nice long earth tone dress with a cardigan; I was quite covered up but still had a little fly going on. I've sported a style similar to this twice before and the same shit happened. A black man approached me with how he's different from other men because he loves his natural black woman lol. Listen here, you don't give a fuck about my fro you were just tryna get brownie points by pointing out the "natural" look I possess; and "different from other men" *puzzled face* the ones I talk to don't seem to mind so unless you have an extra ball or something just chill. I have to admit it always makes me laugh.

It's Definitely Not Me

Before me is something bigger than me

Unfathomable

The steps I took 

Just don’t add up to its actuality

This is huge

In all honesty

I don’t fucking get it

They say you can’t make nothing out of something

And here this something is

Sitting on my lap

Staring me in my face

Ruining my life

Maybe you see something I don’t

Maybe you know something I don’t

Maybe, if, but, and

I was always into the mystery of a man

But you, yes you my dear

I don’t wanna know shit about

I’ve already walked this road

I’ve already tested this water

Age ain’t nothing but a number?

Well check it, this shit is getting old

Do me a favour

A matter a fact do yourself a favour

Keep the fucking door closed!

Giving In

Giving in 

Its not necessarily a bad thing

Not necessarily a good thing

We all fall guilty of it

Sometimes we try to resist so hard

Because we cannot fathom the consequences

Other times we take it with a feather

Knowing that's what we wanted all along

Well

Its my turn

I'm giving in

I'm prepared for the stabs

I'm prepared for the wounds

I just have to do this 

Just so that I can come to terms with myself

If it doesn't work out in my favour

It was about time I gave in anyway....

One of my Fav's